Wednesday, May 18, 2011


It's funny how things change.  A little over a year ago, I was unemployed, confined to my room or the living room couch, spending all of my time either watching movies on my computer or sleeping.  My brother was the definition of purposeful activity... he was in grad school, had a job at the university teaching; always busy, providing.  He would come home to me either tucked away in my room or curled up on the couch, and he would fume.  A few times he exploded at me out of frustration.  It was a bad time.

Now the roles are reversed.  Matt is in his room 24/7.  He's not working, he dropped out of grad school, and I'm the busy one, the provider.  I paid all of the rent this month, barely.  I'll have to pay it again.  I know I won't have enough.  It'll get paid though.  We're lucky to have lenient landlords. 

I don't mind.  His not working or doing anything doesn't bother me like it did him.  We may have to go without electricity in the dead heat of the summer though.  Still... what's so bad about that?  Suffering is good for humility.

Right now we both have shelter, electricity, internet, and food.  Tomorrow will worry about itself.

The only thing I really ever worry about is... I don't know.  The day after tomorrow I guess.

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