Sometimes I wonder if people are surprised that I'm still going to church at St. Maximus, after everything. I wonder what they think of this strange creature that got dragged into their church that continues to linger long after the fact. I wonder what people think. It's weird... I'm still there, and I'm alone and I'm afraid, but that's who I am. I wonder what's going to happen. I wonder about a lot of things. I wish I could fast forward my life sometimes, so I could hurry up and see where things lead. I had a dream last night that made me very sad.