Wednesday, January 5, 2011

This nonordinary person

Tonight at work I encountered a customer who performed a very odd ritual before handing over money to buy beer.  Amidst a strange medley of odd jerks and seemingly purposeless 'motioning' with his arms to a nonexistent point of interest, he dug in his pockets and wallet for money.  Upon procuring the money, before he handed it to me, he pet it gently and then kissed it several times, coins and bills alike.  He also mumbled incoherently at odd moments, but this constant mumbling was interspersed with coherent words pertaining to the situation, such as 'thank's and 'oh, ok' and 'goodbye'.  I of course was struck by the strangeness of his behavior, but it was explained to me later by Stephen that this particular person had obsessive compulsive disorder and something like Tourettes syndrome.  Crazy, in other words.

My first reaction to his behavior, which stretched all through the encounter, was a kind of prolonged shock.  After he left, Stephen immediately busted out laughing as he recounted to me my slack jawed reaction to this persons behavior.  Stephen and I shared a laugh as he explained to me what the strange ritual was, that the guy was OCD and was 'kissing his money goodbye'.  Amusement was followed almost immediately by introspective curiosity about what I had just witnessed.  I'm not sure if it was my imagination, but when I made eye contact with him it seemed as though his look was one of pleading apology... or maybe just a plain, barren plea... for something.  He looked at Stephen this way a couple of times too.   And finally... last but not least... I felt sympathy, sadness and remorse for my reflexive and habitual reactions to this nonordinary person.  And shame.  I hope I see him again so I can be nicer to him next time.  Maybe even treat him like a human being.

Now

I feel trapped in the grip of the merciless now.  It seems like now will never end.  The onslaught of the enemy hurts.  Why does it have to be this way?  I hate myself for being so weak, and I hate myself for hating myself.  Please let time pass and bring me to a place somewhere in the future away from here.  God help me, I'm afraid and alone.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

It's easy, mmmkay

There are times when you get suckered in
By drugs and alcohol and sex with women
But its when you do these things too much
That you've become an addict and must get back in touch

You can do it, its all up to you mmmkay
With a little plan you can change your life today
You don't have to spend your life addicted to smack
Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for crack

Follow my plan and very soon you will say
Its easy mmmkay!

Step 1:  Instead of ass say buns, like "kiss my buns" or "you're a buns hole"
Step 2:  Instead of shit say poo - "bull poo", "poo head" and "this poo is cold"
Step 3:  With bitch drop the T because bich is Latin for generosity
Step 4:  Don't say fuck any more because fuck is the worst word that you can say

So just use the word 'mmmkay'!

We can do it, its all up to us mmmkay
With a little plan we can change our lives today
We don't have to spend our lives shooting up in the trash
Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for cash

Follow this plan and very soon you will say
Its easy mmmkay!

Step 1:  Instead of ass say buns, like "kiss my buns" or "you're a buns hole"
Step 2:  Instead of shit say poo - "bull poo", "poo head" and "this poo is cold"
Step 3:  With bitch drop the T because bich is Latin for generosity
Step 4:  Don't say fuck any more because fuck is the worst word that you can say

Fuck is the worst word that you can say
You shouldn't say fuck
No you shouldn't say fuck, fuck no!

Your cured, you can go!