Monday, July 7, 2014
Nuclear war was imminent, and Leah had been sent back to Denton to get her affairs in order before going back the monastery to await the development of events. Matt and I were at the house packing, and Leah was there to say good bye to me. I was in denial that any bombs would fall, even though we had heard on the radio that there had already been several cities around the world that had been destroyed. I knew this, but I said out loud that I didn't believe it. I didn't want to leave. Matt was urging me to hurry, and I was putting on my boots and lacing them up. I began to grow very afraid, and I found myself wondering if it would hurt more when the bombs landed since it was cold outside, and whether or not it would make a difference if it was summer instead of winter. Leah told me that she had been instructed to get back as soon as possible and not to become distracted, and I panicked and reached out for her, and she was there, and she grabbed my hands and pulled me out the door. Then I was in a car with Matt and Leah, and I could feel my mom's presence but I don't think she was there... but I cried out for her, and said "I'm scared mom!" and she said, "Leah's there for you, she's there, she didn't leave. Hold on to her." And I reached out, but I felt like I was blind, and I couldn't see, but she was there, and she put her arms around me and we sat there together in the car, in the dark, holding each other.