Olivia proposed to me tonight. It was so sweet. I had just finished telling her about my Mexicanness, and how it was ok to be a human dwarf because of your genes since it's not your fault. I also said I had an inferiority complex and only liked girls that were shorter than me. She gushed at this, whatever that means. I said, "How tall are you? 5 feet? That's a good height. Doesn't threaten my machismo at all." She said, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" I of course said yes, and predicted that we would have hobbits for children. Mexican hobbits.
When third shift showed up, Olivia said "I proposed to Ash tonight!" Everybody looked at me and bowed down like I was the man. I stood there and basked in it, and punched in the numbers in the MOT. Then I backed up and made some space around me, and said:
There once was a boy named Ashley
Who everyone loved unabashedly
"I am who I am and I don't give a damn"
"If you do, kiss my quarter Mexican Ass-ley."
And it was so awesome that the ducks showed up.
No comments:
Post a Comment