WHOOPS
I've just gone and done invented another word.
threebie: when you get three things for free, all at the same time.
You're welcome.
WHOOPS
This time I invented a new DEFINITION.
BEHOLD...
idiot savant - an unfettered moron.
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
The saddest song EVAR
I just wrote the most saddest song ever wrote, EVER!
.
.
.
Forever Autumn
.
.
.
The summer sun is fading as the year grows old
And darker days are drawing near
The winter wind will be much colder
Cause you're not here
And you took the beer.
I watch the beers fly south across the autumn sky
And one by one they disappear
I wish that I was flying with them
Cause you're not here
And you took the beer.
Like a beer through the trees you came to beer me
Like a beer on a breeze you blew a-WAY-YAY-YAY-eeYAY-a-YAAAAAaaay...
Through autumns golden beers we used to drink our way
I always loved that kind of beer
Those empty beers like undisturbed now
Cause you're not here
And you took the beer.
Like a beer through the trees you came to beer me
Like a beer on a breeze you blew a-WAY-YAY-YAY-eeYAY-a-YAAAAAaaay...
Through autumns golden beers we used to drink our way
I always loved that kind of beer
My life will be forever autumn
Cause you're not here and you took the beer
Cause you're not heeeere and you took the beer...
Cause you're not here and you took the beer!
Insomniack
Insomniack
.
.
.
I just wanna be left alone, mostly. I can't remember if that's how I started out, or did the idea of it grow on me, like a fungus?
When you're awake for a long long long time, you start to change inside of the moment. To shift. The what it is that's you, or in my case, me, shunts over a little to the left and backward one notch. Then I get to view the happenings of the world around me from that unique position. It's a strange and weirdly thing.
It's a massive shift in the way I experience things, but it doesn't really affect my outward appearance or mannerisms that much. I seem slower and stupider, is all... but to me, it's imminently more stranger.
I can't explain what it feels like, to have your mode shifted from normal to weird, just because of being awake and awake and awake. It's like you've become an alternate you. Or that I've become an alternate me. It's one of those had to have been there things, I guess.
A lot of the time, when I can sleep like a normal person, a normal person, then, when I'm all slept out, I really, really, want to sleep, sleep, some more. The idea of getting up and having to be awake seems like this heavy, heavy thing. The idea of simple consciousness feels like a lead blanket. Like those poor, hell-bent figures from Dante's Inferno, who had to wear those heavy cloaks that were lined with gold ingots, while they walked endlessly through hell.
I fascinate myself, that I feel this way. What the heck happened to me that made a normal awakening from sleep seem like a normal awakening into hell? It wasn't always this way, and that makes the phenomenon of it supremely interesting to me. Surprising, even... to the me of the insomniacks, that is. To the regular me, having to be inside of that moment is horrible.
See what I mean, about the you that gets shifted over, and sees things differently? Mostly tragic things, and interestedly as opposed to horrifyingly? See? See what I mean? I'm looking California, and feeling Minnesota. Get it?
You wanna know what's ironic? Back when I was a normal human... I used to think, as I was about to go to sleep, with my head on my pillow, and all covered up and comfy, I used to think, all the time, I used to think this, as I was falling asleep:
'What if I didn't go to sleep, but instead I just kept thinking over and over... what if I just can't go to sleep?' And then I'd fall asleep. And every night, as I thought of the possibility of - the what if - of not being able to sleep, I'd fall asleep. And then one day the what if came true. It's exactly like an impossible monster made real. The boogey man actually came true. Can you believe that shit? Well, the boogey man may be a metaphor, but he definitely came true for me, and it still seems just as impossible.
And oh man, is it ever just as horrible as I ever imagined.
.
.
.
I just wanna be left alone, mostly. I can't remember if that's how I started out, or did the idea of it grow on me, like a fungus?
When you're awake for a long long long time, you start to change inside of the moment. To shift. The what it is that's you, or in my case, me, shunts over a little to the left and backward one notch. Then I get to view the happenings of the world around me from that unique position. It's a strange and weirdly thing.
It's a massive shift in the way I experience things, but it doesn't really affect my outward appearance or mannerisms that much. I seem slower and stupider, is all... but to me, it's imminently more stranger.
I can't explain what it feels like, to have your mode shifted from normal to weird, just because of being awake and awake and awake. It's like you've become an alternate you. Or that I've become an alternate me. It's one of those had to have been there things, I guess.
A lot of the time, when I can sleep like a normal person, a normal person, then, when I'm all slept out, I really, really, want to sleep, sleep, some more. The idea of getting up and having to be awake seems like this heavy, heavy thing. The idea of simple consciousness feels like a lead blanket. Like those poor, hell-bent figures from Dante's Inferno, who had to wear those heavy cloaks that were lined with gold ingots, while they walked endlessly through hell.
I fascinate myself, that I feel this way. What the heck happened to me that made a normal awakening from sleep seem like a normal awakening into hell? It wasn't always this way, and that makes the phenomenon of it supremely interesting to me. Surprising, even... to the me of the insomniacks, that is. To the regular me, having to be inside of that moment is horrible.
See what I mean, about the you that gets shifted over, and sees things differently? Mostly tragic things, and interestedly as opposed to horrifyingly? See? See what I mean? I'm looking California, and feeling Minnesota. Get it?
You wanna know what's ironic? Back when I was a normal human... I used to think, as I was about to go to sleep, with my head on my pillow, and all covered up and comfy, I used to think, all the time, I used to think this, as I was falling asleep:
'What if I didn't go to sleep, but instead I just kept thinking over and over... what if I just can't go to sleep?' And then I'd fall asleep. And every night, as I thought of the possibility of - the what if - of not being able to sleep, I'd fall asleep. And then one day the what if came true. It's exactly like an impossible monster made real. The boogey man actually came true. Can you believe that shit? Well, the boogey man may be a metaphor, but he definitely came true for me, and it still seems just as impossible.
And oh man, is it ever just as horrible as I ever imagined.
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