Random encounter

I was walking to the church last night at about 7:00 to meet up with Dax to discuss the intricacies of choir directing, and I had my flashlight and e-book, reading, as usual.  It was dark, and a car passed me and turned on the intersecting street, then turned around, and I heard this:

"Hey, are you the guy who works at 7 Eleven?"

"Yeah."

"You're awesome!"

What?  I looked into the car, and there was a young girl driving, with a guy in the passenger seat.  She looked vaguely familiar.  I approached.

"Uh... thanks."

"I go there a lot, but you might not recognize me.  I'm brunette now."

"Oh, no... yeah.  I recognize you."

"So what are you doing?"

I almost said that I was on my way to the church and all that, but I've found that when I'm honest like that, about church and all, that it puts people off.  So I said that I was just out doing my thing, walking and reading, like I always do.

"Oh, that's cool."  She smiled real big.  "What's your name?"

Without hesitating, I said, "Elias..." and then I regretted it.

"Oh yeah?  Cool.  How'd you get that name?"

Shit.  I'll have to lie now.  "I dunno... my mom liked the name Eli, so Elias it was, I guess."

"Cool!  My name's..." and damned if I forgot her name.  The guy introduced himself, and I forgot his name too.

"Ok, nice metting ya'll, and thanks."

She smiled real big.  "Yeah, see ya!" and drove off.

I felt like complete shit after that.

Figuring this out

It's amazing how much I miss her.  I'm amazed at it - the empty feeling I get when I think of her.  The pain is fading; has been for a good long while, as pain always does with these things... but as the pain diminishes, the feeling of missing her grows.  I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing.  If I were to stop going to church, forget about being Orthodox, and just pretend that the last two years never happened, I'm sure all of these feelings concerning her would fade pretty quickly.  It's funny how all of this is tied to the church.  It's like, that's why this is important, or something.  Figuring this out.  Because of the church.

Rats in the mattress

This morning at about 6:30 I awoke to something brushing against my fingertips.  The mattress I sleep on is shoved up next to the wall, and my fingers were kind of hanging down in the little crack between the wall and the mattress.  I sat up quickly, sure it was another one of those 'waterbugs', as my brother calls them, but to me they're just giant roaches.  They attack me sometimes when I sleep, but since it's been cold, they've been inactive.  I know - horrible, gross, filthy, creepy, crawly - but I'm used to 'em.  Anywho, I sat up and saw, in the dim light, what had to be the biggest roach I'd ever seen.  At least four inches long.  But it was dark, and only a little morning light was coming through the windows, and what I'd first thought was an enormous bug LEAPED from the little crevice, landing behind this little drawered block I use for a night stand.  I stared for about a minute, and suddenly, WHOOSH, the thing shot across the floor and into the closet.  I jumped up and turned on the light and looked in the closet, but it had high tailed it to some other cranny or crevice.  I'm pretty sure it was a mouse now, and not a giant roach.  Fun, huh?

When I went back to sleep, I dreamed that I lifted up my mattress and there was a hole chewed in the side, and that it was infested with rats.  I followed a trail of mattress fluff to a hole in the wall.  Then I heard a voice saying, 'rats in the mattress,' over and over.  More fun, yeah?