Trying

Last night as I walked home from work, I was reading the biography of Saint Nektarios, and I came across a passage in which he dreamed that he was in a green field, singing 'O Gladsome Light'.  This immediately instilled a strong urge in myself to sing it, and I did, along with other Orthodox hymns such as Psalm 103 and Let My Prayer Arise.  And then I was overcome with a fierce need to pray, which I unfortunately rarely feel.  After several minutes of praying, I got that so rare and valuable uplifted feeling again, which I have only gotten a handful of times.  I'm so weak, I can only hope that God lets me live long enough to learn how to pray ceaselessly.  So, as I was walking, overcome with this rare joy, I looked up and saw the moonlight shining through a break in the clouds, and the light was in the shape of a cross.  It was trying to be a three bar Orthodox cross, but not quite.  The bottom bar was only half, and the top bar was a rounded shape.  It was trying though, which said a lot.  Trying way harder than I do on a regular basis.