Same old shmame old - part 2

Anywho... about what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life and stuff, from my previous blog entry.  I forgot to expound upon that yesterday.

I've been thinking quite a bit about visiting a monastery myself. The idea has been in my head since the summer of '09, around the time I was deciding that I wanted to become a catechumen. For the last three years that idea has been growing, and now it has become a persistent thought for me; that I should visit a monastery. Possibly to become a monk. More and more it seems like my entire life has been custom designed for the specific purpose of becoming a monastic. I've never really fit into this life of western culture and society and careers and money and families and social interactions and The American Dream and what everybody considers 'normal'.  I've always wished that I could just drop out of society. I could do that by becoming a monk and living in a monastery for the rest of my life.  That seems like a pretty flimsy reason to become a monk, though... just so that I can drop out of society.

Wouldn't that be ironic if I were led to a monastic life by such a selfish motivation?  After all, the only reason I started going to church in the first place was for the girl.  You know?  And look what happened.