sadness

Sometimes I think, and think and think and think, about these people I've seen who have killed themselves.  And people I've known who have killed themselves.  It's a thing, in my head.  Ah God, it's a sad thing, I don't know what to do about those thoughts.  They don't present themselves as a general rule, not as a normal thing, not on a regular basis.  It's enough to just have those thoughts for a few seconds a month, enough to remind me of how awful being awake can be.   But it ain't all the time.  It's just a sad sad thing.  I think it needs to be known at least, that sadness.  It should at least be known, because ignoring it would be giving it the ok.