Today I found a grasshopper on the ground. Half dead for some reason. I found a couple of twigs. I held the grasshopper down with one twig and tore each of its legs off, one by one, with the other. Then I sprayed it down with Off insect repellent and watched it until it's abdomen stopped moving. I haven't done that since I was about 10.
After that I imagined that when I die I'll probably suffer this torture in the afterlife. A giant grasshopper will hold me down and rip my limbs off, one by one, and then spray me with a toxic chemical and watch me as I asphyxiate.