Taking it easy

I wonder if anybody ever reads this blog? I read it. I read these blogs that I post over and over, and I edit them relentlessly. Am I the only one? Who reads them, I mean. I know that I'm the only one who edits them.

Nobody ever comments. I have five followers; three strangers who I have no idea about, and then two people from church... Pam and Leah. I think Leah used to check in now and then. Maybe she still does but I doubt it. Pam probably forgot all about it centuries ago. So, I've started talking to myself a lot on this here blog, which is actually the way I prefer it anyway. I mean, I post a lot of stupid shit here. Do I really want everybody reading my innermost retardation? I don't think so.

Tonight I took a long walk. I was on a mission. I had a letter that I had to deliver. Rain, sleet, snow, hurricane, tornado, typhoon, earthquake, ice age, asteroid impact, supernova, black hole, gamma ray burster, big bang... nothing was going to stop me from delivering this message. I was a one man postal service. I can put that on my resume now... I have letter delivering experience.

And I delivered it too, so that's always a plus when applying for a job. I also think I'm on record if I'm not mistaken, because I was questioned by the authorities. I was very smooth. I said, 'The mail must get through,' and those authorities said, 'Yes sir, sorry to interrupt you sir,' and I've never seen authorities scuttle away so quickly with their tails between their legs. Yes sir, they saw a man on a mission, and they knew not to ask questions. I'm dead serious here.

So anyway, after blazing a few new trails for the public good and then backtracking and doing some ranger things, I found my way home. What, you say? Blazing and backtracking? Yes, I say. I am badder ass than Aragorn. So anyway, my sense of direction is pretty much flawless so I got back to my cave with no trouble at all.

So here I am now, at home in my dry cave, protected from the elements, safe and sound and with the sound of my own wheels putting me to sleep. They definitely don't drive me crazy.