Thursday, November 18, 2010

Stupid sleep

I was supposed to go to the liturgy this morning and read.  I couldn't sleep right when I got home, as it was too 'early'.  I wound up actually falling asleep at 2:00 and slept right through my alarm.  I feel rotten.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Paint, what a stupid invention

Today at work they were painting new stripes on the parking lot.  I was out there emptying the trash and I heard "Don't step on the paint!"  I stepped on the paint.  I lifted my foot and inspected the bottom of my boot.  It was covered with yellow paint.  I had left yellow tracks all over the concrete around the trash can and the front door.  I'd also tracked yellow paint all in the store, as I had already stepped in it once without anybody noticing.

The paint guy came up and shook his head.  I said I was sorry multiple times, but he ignored me.  So I proceeded to hop into the store on one foot, with every body watching me, over to the napkin dispenser.  I wiped the paint off of my boot the best I could, and finally said F it and took off my boot and walked around in my sock for a while, until I had time to clean my boot.

I went back outside and the paint guy was kneeling over my footprints, mumbling over and over, "You gotta be kidding me!"  Well, I got a little irritated at that, as I had apologized multiple times.  So I said to the guy, "That's what happens when somebody steps in wet paint," and I turned around and went back into the store.

Later I found the graffiti remover and went outside with a piece of steel wool and made some progress in cleaning up a lot of the footprints.  The paint guy saw this and asked me if I had any more steel wool, and maybe some more of that graffiti remover, and I said, "Here, you can use these," and I left the steel wool and graffiti remover there for him.  I went back into the store and cleaned my boot because I was tired of looking like a retard with one boot and one sock.

After a while I went after the footprints in the store.  As I was on my hands and knees cleaning it up, a customer saw me and said, "Some idiot customer do that?" Uh... "Yeah," I replied.  The customer said, "You'd think whoever it was would have been smart enough to notice the guys out there painting the parking lot and would have watched where he was stepping.  God, some people are idiots."  I guess the general consensus is that I'm an idiot. :p

A couple of hours later I got white paint all over my shirt when I rubbed against the door frame, which had just been painted, as I was trying to squeeze past one of the renovator guys who had set up shop on the floor right there in the doorway.

Toxic fumes

They are renovating the 7-Eleven where I work, and the air is filled with toxic fumes... paint thinner or mineral spirits, I'm guessing.  It smells like rubber cement.  I felt sick all night last night at work.  Anyway, to distract me from the imminent feeling of projectile vomiting, I took notes on customer reactions to the toxic air.

"Oooooh, that smell!" (Sounds like a Lynard Skynard song)

"How can you not get high?" (I dunno, I guess it's the sick part that prevents it)

"That smells good."

"I'll bet you go home with a headache."

"You're getting high for free!" (No I'm not, I'm getting sick for free)

"Smells like permanent marker."

"You guys should charge at the door!"

"It smells like model airplanes in here."

"It's a wonder your head isn't hurting." (It is)

"Whoa, now I'ma gettin' high!"

I think it's interesting that 5 out of 10 comments reference getting high, or that it smelled good.  I guess that demonstrates the demographic of our customers.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Reading out loud

This afternoon I was walking to Kroger to grab some fud; my nose buried in a brand new science fiction novel. As I was walking and reading, the urge struck me to start reading out loud - loudly. Not only that, but I also felt compelled to do it in the thickest, crappiest, most obnoxious British accent I could manage.

As I was walking down Panhandle, prattling away all prim and proper, I heard somebody chuckling. I looked to my left and to my horror saw a mom, dad and daughter sitting on their front steps and looking at me with these huge, unabashed grins on their faces. The chuckles were coming from the dad.

Having been discovered red handed indulging in one of those retarded moments that I usually reserve for 'Happy Idiot Alone Time', I had no choice but to continue, as if yammering the contents of my book out loud like a raving lunatic with a bad British accent, for the benefit of the entire neighborhood, was a perfectly normal thing to be doing.