Tonight a guy came into the store, walked up to my counter, and plopped a Super Gulp down on it. It was slowly leaking out of the bottom, all over the counter.
Guy: This here'n done leaked all over muh FLORE.
I looked at the guy, then looked at the cup. Yup, it was leaking, fer shore.
Guy: Watchoo goan do 'boudit?
I considered this for a moment. I knew one thing for certain - I definitely wasn't going to go clean up this guy's floor, so I thought of the next best thing.
Me: You can go get another one for free.
He gave me a not-so nice look and went over to the soda machine. I checked a few more customers, and then the guy called over to me.
Guy: Whar's the lids for this'n here?
He was holding the Thor promotional cup, the one that costs two fifty.
Me: You'll have to pay for that one. Get a cup like the one you had before.
Guy: Well, there ain't'n like that'n. That's why I got this'n!
I looked over there and saw that the slot for the Super Gulps was empty.
Me: Ok, I'll go get one for you.
I went into the back and got a sleeve of Super Gulp cups, saying to myself 'I'm calm, I'm calm' and walked back out front. I opened it, took out a cup, and handed him one.
Guy: I don't want that'n, yore FANGERS done been all over't.
He threw the cup in the trash. Yeesh.
Me: Ok, whatever.
I pushed the sleeve of cups into the slot. The guy pulled out the first cup and threw it in the trash, I guess because my fangers done been all over that'n too.
Me: My fingers have been all over most of those cups, you know.
The guy dumped out the Thor cup into the soda drain, spilling a good quarter of it all over the sneeze guard and the floor. He filled his 'fangers free' cup with soda and headed for the door.
Guy: I din't come in here fore a free sody!
Well, I'd just about had enough of this guy, and I just seen red again. Again.
Me: I definitely ain't gonna come clean your floor, if that's whatchoo come in here fore!
The guy stopped halfway out of the door and stared daggers at me.
Guy: I'll see you out'n front here, when you git off work. I'ma kick yore ASS!
And he left. Well, I got off work and got home safely, sans ass kicking, so I must have escaped his wrath by a hairs breadth. And this was the same guy who I'd offered to buy food for the other day, when he was outside panhandling. Yeesh.
Brittney: (laughing) Don't kick that guy's ass after work, Ash!