Happy happy happy! Unprecedented happiness. I'm not high, I'm not in love, I'm just happy. It happened again today. It's almost like when I crossed the threshold saying the Jesus Prayer those two times. I've wondered and wondered about this, why it's been happening, and I think it's because I've been in Communion. It's like being in love, or high on the best opiate. Is this what it feels like to ride the coattails of God?
It's not consistent, but neither have I been with Communion. But this is happening, I think, as a direct result of prayer and Communion, and involvement with the Church. I have no excuse to ever be sad or self pitying or angry again. It can be like this all the time, not just at work. I've wondered why it's just at work that I feel like this... and I think it's because of all the people I see every day. Fr. Justin said to be a ministry at work. I think God is helping me to do that. When I'm happy at work, everybody around me is happy. I see the positive effect on people. They smile, they talk to me, they laugh, they say I'm silly and funny. It's just the best thing in the world. I could be in prison, or on the street, or sick in bed with terminal cancer and I would only feel pure joy.
I hope I become worthy one day so that I can share this with someone; a wife, and a family. And if I don't ever find anyone, I'll share it with everybody.