A life full of sin.

I don't have to put myself through hell every day.  It's an unconscious choice that I don't notice a lot of the time, but it's still a choice.  I just said to myself, out loud, "A life full of sin is what I -" and I meant to say 'lead'.  What came out was 'leave'.  I didn't mean to say that.  I guess it wasn't a conscious choice, but it was still a choice.