One day, long after I'm dead of course, someone will run across this journal in some online repository and recognize it as pure genius and mourn over the fact that I never finished my astronaut novel. This blog will be published posthumously in book form, and trillions of people across the galaxy will know the life story of the brilliant unsung hero of his time who went batshit insane. Therefore, I feel that it is important to document these episodes, for the benefit of posterity.
The other day I was getting ready for work and talking to Matt at the same time, all the while checking the clock on the microwave to make sure I wouldn't be late. I even checked my arcade cab computer clock a couple of times. The last clock I checked was my phone, right before I left... it was 1:55. When I got to work, Brian said, "You're early!" I thought he was kidding around with me, because I was exactly on time, and I usually show up at 2:04. I laughed and said, "Yeah, I am." I went to clock in and Chiy said, "Why you so early? It only 1:00!" I looked at my phone. It was 1:00. I was incredulous. I was in a state of disbelief. I was shocked. I was just a tad bit unnerved. I had looked at three different clocks several times as I was getting ready for work, and I read each of them as an hour later than the actual time, each time.
Yesterday I was perusing this comic. When you move the cursor on top of one of the images and leave it, a little text box pops up that says 'The 98% Degree'. Well, the first time I did this, it didn't read that. It read, 'imaginary breaks'. WTF are imaginary breaks? I tried it again and again, on different panels and different places in the panels, and it never ever popped up with 'imaginary breaks' again. Yup, I'm going insane.