Yesterday at the Jazz Fest I had decided to do something I've never done before... try some pick-up lines on women. Here are the ones I decided on, in order of their deployment:
"Hey, I'm writing a telephone book... may I have your number please?"
"This isn't a beer belly, it's a high performance fuel tank."
"You should be someone's wife."
"I once knew a squirrel named Marvin. Man oh man are you hot. Marvin is in Africa now."
"Hi. Are you cute?"
"What the hell are you looking at?"
I realize now, after the fact, that somehow I got less and less witty the more beer I drank. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around?