Thursday, May 12, 2011

Hi-jinks and shenanigans at church this morning

This morning I got up early and went to church for the 7:00 am liturgy.  There were only three people there besides myself and Ben, so it was a small affair.  I read the Hours, Ben read the Epistles, and we both sang the liturgy together.  I, of course, started the service off with a nice, big SPLAT as I began to read the Hours before Fr. Justin had said the first prayer.  Intent on yammering my fool head off, I got about as far as "Holy God, Holy -" when I heard Fr. Justin go "TSSST TSSST TSSST!" from the altar... oops.  Hey, I'm still an infant when it comes to churchly and spiritual matters, mmmk?  Anywho.

After that, Ben and I sang the liturgy, with Fr. Justin starting us off and guiding us every now and then when we bumbled and flubbled.  Actually, I was surprised and pleased at how smoothly everything went... right up until communion, that is.  Ben went to assist Fr. Justin when we began the communion hymn, and as I stood there singing 'Receive the BOOOOOOODY of CHRIIIIIIST...", all by myself and in my own little world, I suddenly saw Fr. Justin gesticulating in my direction.  It took about three seconds for my brain to engage the clutch and to switch gears, at which point I realized that he wanted me to hop up there onto the uh... manoualia?  Is that the right word?  ...that little raised platform in front of the altar, to help Ben hold the communion cloth.  So, hoppeth up there I did, and while Dave and Sam and Louise took communion, I took one end of the communion cloth and stood there, holding it.  I didn't do anything else with it until Fr. Justin indicated that I should actually hold it up close to the communicant so that it would catch any stray drops that tried to escape.  At one point I almost pulled it out of Ben's hands, I think.

Anywho, after a very short while, it was my turn to receive communion.  Being at an odd angle, and trying to hold the cloth under my chin while taking a big bite of Mystery at the same time, I promptly knocked the Body of Christ off of the spoon and onto the communion cloth as I was trying to slurp it into my mouth.  Oops, again.  It seemed to me that Fr. Justin exhaled slowly as he dug around with the spoon in the folds of the cloth for the wayward Bread.  As he was trying to retreive it, I thought to myself... "Self, Fr. Justin is gonna have to burn that cloth now, all because you have clumsy lips."  After what seemed like an interminably long period, but which was probably just a few seconds, Fr. Justin retreived the Bread and we finally got the thing down my gullet without further incident.

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