Thursday, August 4, 2011

What's it like?

What must it be like for the person who knows that he only has a set amount of time left for him?  I can see him going about his daily activities like he always did for years and years and years, secure in the knowledge that the next second will occur, and the next, and the next, leading into minutes, and hours, and days... and on into an indefinite future of aliveness.  But eventually the countdown will reach zero, and there will be no more comfort to take in the notion of 'a little more time'.  But still... what will he do?  Turn a screwdriver?  Wash a dish?  Pat a dog on the head?  Take a nap?  Visit a friend?  Stare at the wall?  Count stucko phantoms?  Go to sleep?  What will be the last thing he does, ever?  How does that countdown reach the end for him?

What will he feel when he sees the forever still and distant terminator on the horizon getting impossibly but inevitably closer?  Will it fade from day into night, or will it be an abrupt transition?  Will there be another terminator, this time describing a new day?  What kind of day will it be?  Will there be things to do in it?  Will now keep going on and on, or will it end?

Will all of those things that gave his life meaning still mean anything in this new day, if there is one?  What about that woman he loved?  What happens to that?  Did it mean anything real; anything that will translate into 'after the now'?  Or what about the children he never knew?  Will he see them, when they eventually join him in the afterness?  Will he see those he's hurt and broken and killed?  Will anything from the before-time of physical life survive in that after-time?  And if so, is there a such a thing as forgiveness there?   

What is one man's life in the grand scheme of things?  Can one living consciousness really be sentenced to an eternal separation from God due to an infinitesimal mistake made during that pinprick of an instant of eternity that we call life?  It's possible to kill with just a few words, and without even knowing it.  How can that kind of power fall to just one person, and how can he not even be aware of it?  How can such irresponsibility exist? 

How can such despair exist?  There must be an equal hope to counter it... there has to be balance.  There has to be.  Is there no hope for the damned?

Whoever that guy is, I wish him the best, and all of God's Grace.  I know he exists somewhere.

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