Saturday, April 2, 2011

Proof of God.

About 15 months ago I watched a program about quantum physics and how observation collapses quantum wave functions, creating reality.  I came to the realization that God was the ultimate observer, therefore all of existence is a result of His observation collapsing the wave functions of reality, in which we exist as conscious living people.  I have since posited further that our free will has the effect of collapsing the local wave functions around us, creating our own local reality for each of us.  I even blogged about it here way back when.

Last night I watched a program about an Indian scientist, Amit Goswami, who has been expounding upon this realization for quite some time.  This is the way he started to think about it:

Reality is comprised of quantum wave functions which haven't been collapsed into a definite state. Reality is, essentially, a realm of possibilities which only requires consciousness to give it form. So, If observation creates reality, then what about our brains? They are part of reality and should have to be observed first in order for them to exist. But we are observing, and the reality we see is the result of observation which is done by our brains. So how do we exist to begin with? If consciousness creates form, then what gives form to us, who are conscious beings? What collapses the wave functions that give rise to our existence, as individual observers?

Amit Goswami made the distinction between material existence - atoms and molecules, matter and everything it forms - the planets, the sun, the cosmos, us - and consciousness as being two different forms of reality.  The physical world is 'gross' reality, and consciousness is 'subtle' reality.  Scientists have assumed for years that consciousness, or subtle reality, springs from matter or gross reality, because it's logical to deduce, using the traditional scientific method, that our brains create our consciousness.  However, according to his research and ideas, it's the other way around.  Consciousness gives rise to matter, and consciousness is everywhere.  It's the beginning of everything and it links us all, and we are all a part of it.

This may sound like just an interesting theory if not for the fact that there is data that supports it.  An experiment was performed where two people, for about half an hour, concentrated on merging their thoughts.  They were then taken to separate rooms which were sealed from all electromagnetic interference, and electrodes were placed on their heads that mapped their brain waves.  One person was shown a pattern of strobing lights, and the other was not.  The brain waves of the person who was shown the strobing light produced a concise pattern which illustrated a definite reaction to the strobing lights.  The other person, who was not shown the strobing lights, produced brain waves that were remarkably similar.  And when I say remarkably similar... when overlayed, they matched almost perfectly.  There is no other explanation for this, except that there was some kind of communication going on between the two people which did not involve any kind of signal transfer at all.  It showed proof of a pervading consciousness which links us all.  I believe that this is just a fraction of a piece of information which proves the existence of God, and so did Amit Goswami.

This all goes back to the nature of quantum mechanics, and I believe that the reason for the results of this experiment lies in the phenomenon of quantum entanglement.  I'd try to explain about that now, but it's kind of hard to go into without first describing a lot of the basics.  Look up quantum entanglement and the theory of the holographic universe, if you're interested in knowing more about it.  I realize that all of this can sound just flat out absurd on the surface, but it is, in effect, how reality works (although the holographic universe is still just an intriguing theory).  There would be no reality without consciousness, and consciousness is God, and we are all a part of it.  "God is everywhere" isn't just a bunch of empty words. I believe that this is all proof of God, wrapped up in quantum mechanics.

This is a great comfort to me, being one who has always craved meaning and an explanation for phenomena.  I don't expect to ever understand why this is the way things are, and I don't believe that it's possible to ever understand everything, for God is a mystery which is beyond us, His creation.  However, we humans are curious beings and are capable of learning and understanding to a great extent (from our perspective, anyway), so I don't have a problem at all believing this to be unmistakable, undeniable proof of God.  I know that's a leap of faith, but faith is very hard for me to come by for me, and it's a miracle that God has revealed this much, to make it a little bit easier.  I pray for this... Lord, I believe, help me with my unbelief.  I believe that this is God answering my prayer.

I think of communion now and am just astounded by the realization of it's reality.  It's THERE-ness.  The real happening of it.

Here's a link to the original blog post about my epiphany regarding quantum mechanics:

A lengthy read

Amit Goswami's web page:

Scientific Proof of the Existence of God

Thursday, March 31, 2011

The three parts of me

Yesterday started out as a really rotten day.  It's funny how I seem to have no control over the way my days start.  Some days I'm in a really great mood, and some days it just sucks to be alive.  Yesterday was one of those suck days.

So yesterday I was walking to work, in just the rottenest mood.  Imagine Yosemite Sam in that cartoon where he kept falling through the hole or trap door or whatever it was, over and over again.  Each time, as he fell, he would yell "FRIKIN FRAKIN RIKIN RAKIN SHIKIN SHAKIN RIKIN FRAKIN..."  That's what I was mumbling on the way to work, in between my attempts to pray.  Kind of basically more or less definitely ruined my prayer.

Anywho... I got to work and Brittney had a cake for me.  Wow!  I love Brittney.  I don't know what I'd do without her to look forward to three times a week.  I felt instantly better and thanked God for His blessings.  She's going to be leaving soon, and that will be a very sad day for me. 

The rest of the day was a series of ups and downs, like a min-manic-depressive state.  It started to plummet again when I was trying to eat a piece of cake.  We were really busy, and I had the fork almost to my mouth, and whaddya wouldn'tya knowit, the cake fell off of the fork and onto the floor.  FRIKINFRAKINRIKINRAKIN... well, my mood went south instantly.  I started to get aggravated at customers who didn't deserve it.  This lasted until the rush ended, and then I got hold of myself.

Me:  I think I've realized something.

Brittney:  What? (she always smiles when I bring something up, God bless her)

Me:  I'm pretty sure that I'm 1/3 retarded, 1/3 asshole, and 1/3 good person (I came to the retard conclusion after looking for my phone for 5 minutes and realizing it was in my hand)

Brittney:  Aw, come on, don't treat yourself so bad.

Me:  Hmmm... well, I did give myself 1/3 good person and 1/3 retard.  I'm not even mostly bad if I look at it that way.

My day

Wake up.
Go back to sleep.
Wake up again.
Try to go back to sleep.
Lie there for a while in the dark.
Wonder what time it is.
Lie there some more.
Panic a little about life.
Go back to sleep again.
Dream again.
Wake up again.
It's light outside.
Get up to use the bathroom.
Find the phone, see what time it is.
Ok, I'm up.
Wander around and shiver.
Turn on the heat in the kitchen.
Sit in the living room for a while and think.
Open the front door and check the temperature.
Get online for a while.
Drink the rest of the can of beer from last night.
Try to pray.
Watch a movie.
Get ready for work.
Dread life.
Walk to work.
Pray on the way.
Get to work.
Say hi to everyone and try to pretend to be ok.
Check customers.
A cake!
Talk to Brittney and feel a lot better.
Order beer.
Check customers.
Talk to Brittney some more.
Experience 30 different moods all day.
End up on a good note.
Walk home.
Drink a beer.
Watch a movie.
Get tired.
Get online for a while.
Smoke one more cigarette.
Think about praying in front of the icon corner.
Get undressed, turn out the lights, and get in bed.
Go to sleep.
Start all over.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011


I believe that all human problems have their root in pride.  Everything else stems from that.  I think impatience is my biggest problem after pride.  I used to think it was anger, but I realize that anger is just a side effect of impatience.  And I didn't even know impatience was a problem until I let God into my life.  Same with pride.  Pride, impatience, and anger.  And after that, self pity.  I think I'm doing pretty well with anger.  It's a lot more obvious than impatience.  Impatience can be subtle.  It requires reminding yourself constantly that everything is going according to God's plan.  And knowing that even then, when things get realized, that it might not be what you wanted for yourself, but what God wanted for you.  And that goes back to pride.  What I want might not be what God wants, but God wants what's best for me.  I can accept that reality and benefit from it, or I can reject it.  Rejecting it is the result of pride, and will only bring pain.  So it's simple, really.  If pride can be vanquished, than it's possible to be happy.  And not until then.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Not sorry

I've often come under attack for the way I look, my long hair and whatnot.  I've heard things like 'get a haircut you fag, fuckin hippy, fuckin druggie, go back to Woodstock you freak, look at the pretty lady...' things of that nature.  I've even had things thrown at me from moving cars.  I've had numerous soda cups thrown at me, and I've even been hit once.

Today when I was out walking before work, this happened again.  A truck was turning a corner onto the side street which I was crossing, and the side passenger threw a sonic cup filled with ice at me.  It missed.  Instantly and reflexively, my middle finger shot up.  The truck kept going, but the passenger shot me the bird out of the window.  I gave him the double bird.  He leaned out of the window and gave me two of them.  I motioned for them to come on back, and I even yelled it at them.  The truck kept going.  I don't know what I would have done if they'd actually turned around... probably I'd have talked a lot of shit, and if it came to blows, I'd give as good as I could before I got pummeled.

I wasn't sorry this time about getting angry though, and I don't think I will be.

Monday, March 28, 2011


Sometimes, not often, the beauty of the world takes me by surprise and I have to pause and gather myself or I'll be choking back sobs I didn't even know were imminent.  Even the color gray can take my breath away.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Things that make me laugh, part 2

...Kentucky Fried Kontakion? 

Four score and 7 gazillion years ago, the Archangel Gabriel issued forth the Annunciation Proclamation... and to make a long story short, all the slaves in hell were freed.

Oh yeah, Matrix Robes.  And Dax is a black belt.  Somehow the idea of Dax kicking ass in his Matrix Robes is hilarious.  No, not even somehow.  Definitely.  TAKE THAT! ...Glory to the Father... AND THAT! ...and the Son... AND THAT! ...and the Holy Spirit... AND THAT! ...both now and ever... AND THAT! ...and unto ages and ages... AND THAT! ...AMEN!... bow

I want some Matrix Robes!