Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Walking thoughts

My utilities have been shut off since December.  I'm used to it now, I suppose, and have learned to cope with no electricity and gas and water.  I have to blog from my phone now, which is a drag, so I don't do it much anymore.   That's about it.  I'm out walking now, and I wanna get to my book.  I still think about Leah quite a bit.  I still love her as much as I ever did, and I miss her.  I might never see her again, ever, and the thought of that possibility makes me feel panicky.  I just want to be over her, but I can't get rid of the small hope that she might be a part of my life again.  But I know the truth is that she won't; that she doesn't think of me like I think of her.  She doesn't hurt in the same way, and that just means that we aren't going to be together in the way that I still long for, ever.  I wonder that I'm still feeling like this.  I guess I'll have to wait longer until I'm normal again, and for God to reveal His will to me, if He ever does.  OK, time for bookwalking.

1 comment:

  1. And this one. I started out writing about my utilities, and it just somehow unexpectedly and suddenly without any kind of warning transmogrified into this hurt thing about Leah. I escaped it though, and managed to get back to my ebook.