Wednesday, May 16, 2012

A dream - waking up

I dreamed that I was trying to sleep but Matt kept bothering me about something.   It was almost time to get up anyway though, and grey light was coming in through the windows.  Matt gave up and left, and I continued to doze.  Then Leah knocked on my bedroom door and came on in, like she used to at the front door when she would come over for a visit, back when we were together.  I was groggy and wondered what she wanted, and why couldn't everybody just leave me alone and let me sleep.  She sat on the edge of my bed and shook me awake.  She was all bouncy and in a good mood, which was irritating.  I asked her what she wanted, and why she was here.  I tried to remember the last time I'd seen or talked to her, but I couldn't, and I thought drowsily that I should probably be happy to see her.  She was very excited as she gave me a pillow that she said she'd made for me.  I sat up in bed and examined the pillow.  The pillow case was hand made, like a quilt, with images of all of my favorite things all over it.  Then she touched my shoulder and gave it a squeeze, smiled, and left.  I felt somewhat bothered that she would show up, give me this gift, and then leave so suddenly.  I got up and yawned, and went to my bedroom doorway, which Leah had left open.  I saw her walking away, and she looked to me as though she'd gained some weight.   She looked good - healthy and happy.  I thought to myself that I would probably never see her again.  I went into the bathroom and tried to cough up that morning stuff in my throat, and what came up was this sticky, black gunk, filled with little sharp seeds.   Then I started to choke on it, and I felt the sharp, stickiness of it digging into and closing my throat.  I couldn't breathe, and I knew that I was likely going to choke too death, but I only felt vaguely bothered by the prospect.

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