Saturday, July 28, 2012

An old friend

Today I received a message from a girl who I haven't seen or spoken to for a long time.  The previous century. Pretty much ancient history.  Back then I was in love with this girl, but she didn't love me and my heart was broken.  Not for the first time... it's the same old story, you know.  It's the way my relationships with girls have always been, or how they've eventually wound up.


In it, she... and I'm finding it hard to express this.  I dunno what to say, and I'm still feeling kind of spaced out and just kind of... I dunno.  Shocked, I guess.  Surprised.  Taken aback.  Blown away... in the message she expressed deep regret that she'd felt over the years, and she apologized for back then, for breaking my heart, for treating me the way she did.  And I feel... I dunno.  Weird.  Sad.  It hurt pretty bad back then, but that was a long time ago.  We had been good friends before our 'relationship', and because of it our friendship had been ruined.  And now, here it is, years and years later, and she sends me this message expressing all of this, and it's pretty emotional.  I dunno if I deserve this kind of expression from her.  It amazes me though.  Amazed.  That's a good word for how I feel.

And it's funny how right now I'm in another frazzle because of a completely different girl.  Life is weird, and it's stupid and it sucks sometimes, and stupid things happen in life that suck and cause regrets.   

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