Wednesday, September 11, 2013

A big dumb truck and a stupid fraidy cat monster

I'm walking down Windsor, going east past the rec center.  There is some kind of waste management truck, driving on the sidewalk, of all places.  There are little mini-manholes along the sidewalk every now and then, which I assume are accessible for some civil engineering purpose, so I guess that truck is doing the mini man-hole thing at 4:00 am. I don't like it - he's in my way.  I have to cross the street and tread on grass to avoid the truck, which displeases me.  It is an inconvenience.  I pass by the truck as it inches forward, and think to myself... supid truck, don't you know that at night, all of this belongs to me?  Yeesh.

Anyway, so I keep walking and finally pass that truck and I am able to regain my rightful place on the sidewalk.  You hear that, truck?  Roads are for trucks, like the one two feet to your right that you can't seem to get a bead on.  And sidewalks are for people.  You know, the guys who invented your stupid self with your too big to be practical tires and your huge storage tank full of whatever and your big, dumb empty brain case that requires somebody to be sitting inside it just so you can decide whether or not you need to take a dump.

Okay, that made no sense, which I now realize.  Whatever.  Who cares.

Now comes the point of all this rambling rigmarole.  So I pass by that big, dumb brainless truck, and after about half a mile of blessed silence and peace, here comes this wolf, just trotting along in the opposite direction on the other side of the road, as if he had every right to.  Wait just a second... was that a wolf?  Let's see.. it definitely wasn't a coyote, because I've seen plenty of those late at night, roaming the streets of Denton.  City coyotes, I guess they are, like in those old cartoons where the city varmint visits the country varmint and hilarity ensues.  You know, city coyotes.  Like these ones; that is, if there were any here.

Anywho, this weren't no coyote, because coyotes are little scraps of fur and bones, and this thing was huge.  Way bigger.  I suppose it could have been a German Shepard, but how many huge, stray German Shepards do you see wandering the country part of Denton at 4:00 am?  It was big, and I think it was a wolf.  Right?  Ok then, it's decided.  It was a wolf.

So this huge wolf monster goes trotting by, and I have no choice but to ready my double-laser club-whip and prepare for battle.  The wolf monster turns its head toward me in mid-stride, and as he sees me, his eyes instantly ignite into two glowing blue balls of super hot plasma, and I mentally prepare myself for the twin beams of million degree energy which will instantly render my atoms into their constituent quarks, thereby returning me to the quagma state; that frothing stew of potential from which all matter is formed and all phenomena occur.

Well, that didn't happen obviously, because that wolf just kept on going and hightailed it like a big stupid fraidy cat.  Stupid fraidy cat wolf monster.


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