Thursday, August 7, 2014

A frightening thing

Tonight after work I was walking. Very slowly. And at one point I was getting pretty far away from myself. Far away from what it was like to be me. Stepping outside of myself. And almost escaping myself. That happened for a good long while. Hours at least. I got lost on a real country road. Miles away. Really. It was wonderful. I had to use an electric map to get back. Before that happened a cop found me. He made a thing clear to me. That walking. At night. On a public road. Is deviant behavior. It's threatening behavior. It's suspicious behavior. People don't like it. They don't want me to do it. They will try to stop me from doing it. They will get others to help them. This was made clear to me. I am not. One of you. It is not okay. To be me. This was made clear. 

During and around all of this a seemingly interminable period went by. I wound up in Denton again near where I started from. Walking close to the store and away. And I see headlights forming around me. So I move over to the right onto the sidewalk. To give them room to go by. The headlights don't go by but they fade away. I keep walking. Then they come back. I keep walking some more but they don't go away again. They stay with me. So I stopped. I stopped and stood there motionless. Waiting for the headlights to go by. They never went by. They just stayed there shining on me and I stood still. Shining on my back as I stood there. Motionless. 

About a minute went by. Finally I turned around. I stood there turned around and looked at the car that was there. Shining its lights on me. It didn't move. I didn't move. I stood there looking at it for a while. Another minute of silent standing went by. About fifteen feet separated me from the car. I was on the sidewalk. The car was pulled over to the side of the road. I took two steps toward the car and it sped away. It sped away instantly like a bat out of hell. Like a frightened thing. Am I a frightening thing?

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