Okay, so I'm wandering around aimlessly at night after work as I'm wont to do, and I'm reading some retarded crap that took place on Facebook the other day - a back and forth between myself and another mutual moron regarding some incontestable data of a factual nature acquired by the NASA Dawn probe, and just recently released to the public concerning the functional dynamics of a primordial wormhole connecting the dwarf planet Ceres to an alien quantum spaghetti maker/booger zapper/high power laser launching facility/bagel toaster and cream cheese, via the 11th dimension, and I'm guffawing my stupid head off.
So, as this was happening, I was of course
ambulatory and not necessarily paying any attention to anything
whatsoever. This being the case, I was just about to step off of the
curb and into the street. Or the boulevard, actually. Carroll Blvd. Who
knew Carroll was a boulevard? Did anybody know that? To me, it's always
been just Carroll. Like... take a left on Carroll.
now, wait a second... I do believe that my android phone just displayed
some remarkably intelligent initiative! You know what happened? Well,
lemme tell you. Firstly, I'm using my phone's voice recognition thingy
instead of manually inputting all of these words. I mean, swype typing
is really cool and all, but talk typing is even cooler because you're
using vibrating molecules of air as your input method. Anywho.
happened was that the first couple of times I mentioned Carroll, my
phone spelled it 'carol'. So I had to go back and manually type in the
way it's spelled as the street name. Pardon me... boulevard. But what
was really cool was that after typing it in a couple of times, it
started to spell Carroll the way it's spelled as a street name. Carol!
Wait, now it's retarded again...
What was this about in
the first place? Oh, the curb! So anyway... yeah. I would have stepped
off of the curb and right onto the road, or into... which is it? Onto or
Hang on. You can't step into a road, can you?
You can step into the path of something ON the road, and you can step
into the path of a truck, for instance, which is ON the road. You can
even step INTO the truck, thus commandeering it's use for your own
purpose, such as swerving out of your own way as you step onto the road
and into your own path... that is, the path of the truck. The same truck
that you're driving upon the same road upon which or onto which you're
stepping... that is, the same road which the path (of the truck) into
which you are stepping, and (the truck) which you stepped into (it's a
stepside dually) lies upon, making a single moment comprised of
simultaneously stepping into the path, into the truck, onto the road,
and onto the path (at the same time), in the form of stepping,
concurrently necessitating the stepping of (that is, the stepping of
that which steps) onto a path, as well as into a path, which naturally
and inevitably and logically leads to a series of descriptions (in the
brain that is, via a neural highway system) a series of descriptions
describing the connective properties of certain (purely imaginative)
time-like events, all of which serve to demonstrate that the purposeful
act of merely, yet forcibly, acknowledging that the existence of a
concept pertaining to a hypothetical idea regarding the unlikely
probability that, given an elementary basis which supports a fundamental
proof of any given idea which - hypothetically speaking, and having
been given a proper impetus, naturally exacerbated by the motive
characteristics of an operandi - may (or may not) lead to several
identical postulations describing the same notion (or notions),
erroneous and unassailable, that the mere thought, concept, idea, plan,
suggestion, intention, or even the factual, physical ACT of stepping
INTO a road is just about not exactly the same as impossible. That is,
rarely. And only from a few extremely precise and inherently unlikely
points of view. But the basic premise regarding the logical possibility
that all the shit I just said, simultaneously conceptualized and
singularly executed, may illustrate the pure nature of the pristine
thought... never wrought yet forever sought, taught for nought, then
caught, fought over and bought, and finally shit on, shat on and shot...
will forever stand on a beautiful pillar of corroded sauerkraut.
are some actual real things that actually exist that you can really
step into in real life, other than whatever the heck all that shit was
up there that just got through being said.
A hole, of
course. You can also step into a pile of dog shit, or a whirling device
of intricate metal comprised of razor blades and salt shakers.
An awkward situation. A new identity, or a new skin. Figuratively or literally.
can definitely step into a parlor, or an office. You can step into a
wall, or even through a wall, via the stepping of into a doorway... but
one thing I know for sure that you definitely CANNOT step into is a
threshold. You also can't step into things which are necessarily under a
certain size, or impossibly out of reach or motile. I mean, there has
to be some kind of limit to all of this bullshit, or else things will
just get really stupider and stupider.
Carroll Boulevard (it spelled it right that time, heck yeah!)
yeah! Here's what I originally wanted to say way back at the beginning,
before things got out of hand. So, as I was saying... there I was,
laughing my butt off and just about to step right into the big ass
middle of the road, and then I heard laughter off to my right. I stopped
and looked, and there was this car full of girlies that I hadn't even
noticed, parked right next to me and with all of the windows down. The
girlie in the front seat was looking at me with this puzzled looking
smile, like she wanted to be let in on the joke. That made me laugh some
more, and then she started laughing, and then the entire car full of
girlies started laughing...
So that's the way it was
for about five seconds, with all of them just laughing and smiling and
looking right at me, and me laughing and smiling back. And then I
stepped right in front of an 18 wheeler and got scrubbed all over the