Friday, September 18, 2015

The odds that bullshit will spontaneously occur at any given moment

What are the odds that someone walking a similar route four days a week every week for 1 year, at a 3 mph walking speed, consisting of 1 mile to and 1 mile from a particular destination, with a starting time during those 4 days varying by 10 minutes on either side of 1:00 pm, resulting in a 1 hour walk, plus or minus 5 minutes, would clearly observe the shadow of an airliner flying overhead visibly passing by on the ground within a 20 foot radius of my... I mean, the walkers location, which is also a specific point on that route - say, the cross streets of Fulton and Egan in Denton, Texas, USA - twice in one week?

That is, the observation of the shadow of an airliner passing overhead, almost exactly between my location* and the position of the Sun so that the shadow of the airliner is clearly visible on the ground, at that particular time, within 20 feet of my location* - that is, that particular place occupied by the observer, which could be me, or anyone else really, but in this case actually happens to be me - twice in one week, according to the parameters already stated?

*I of course mean 'my location' in a general way, in the same way that I can mean... I mean, YOU can mean... that is, You with a capital 'Y', as being the general form of you, of course... can mean the general form of YOU, or YA'LL. Or everybody, plus or minus myself.

Do wea'll get it now? That's a new contraction we invented, right then and on the spot. Or, if we're still confused... 'my', or 'our', as in the royal 'we', or 'wou're'. Another contraction I'we (look, that's another one) just invented. Wou'I'wou'e get the idea. We demand it. Moving on.


So, who wants to answer that? I mean... no, I don't mean that. I don't want to know who wants to answer that. Wait. Yeah, I do want to know who answers it... I mean, I don't really want to know who wants to answer that, but I want to know who actually answers it, insofar as the actual answer is concerned. But I don't really care.

But what I mean is, the answer to the question is more important than whoever it is that answers it. That is, I mean, the answer isn't more important than the actual person who answers it... what I mean is, the person who commits the Act Of Answering is, of course, more important than the 'idea', or 'concept' of an answer. However, and but, the actual data contained within the answer is, of course, unswervingly, more important than the answerer! But if you just want to answer, but don't really have an answer, then I don't care about you at all. At ALL! You're eating bankable entropy. That's all I can see. You're responsible for the heat death of the universe.

Relax. It doesn't even become an issue of the ego until after the answer, so don't get so bent outa shape, for Pete's sake! YEESH. Stomp the person, not the answer. That's my motto.

Ok. I understand that most of us are alive and human beings. So, here's a great compromise... in fact, I don't think this is really a compromise at all. This is truly the best of both worlds! Do it like this here, right there, under here, where it starts a new paragraph, starting with OK. Start reading there, and do that.

OK. What's the answer?!

And whoever answers, just type your name after you answer it, and everything is AWESOME! Everything is cool when you're part of a team! Everything is AWESOME, when... uh. Never mind, that's something else.

OK! What was the question again? Nevermind. What was the answer again?

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