Saturday, June 25, 2016

Read this if you wanna. Who cares.

This is what I've been hearing lately, from some people...

So, supposedly there's this shitwhit who is trying to make it seem like they are me for whatever reason. Who cares. And they're duplicating my Facebook page with my profile pic and friends list, and sending out friend requests to my already friends and in my name and without my permission, like as if I was making a brand new Facebook page just for the hell of it. Do I have that right? I don't get it. 

So in effect (theoretically), there's this doppelganger of me who is making a brand new Facebook page for itself, but with my name on it instead of his/hers/its, so that it seems like one person (me) has two Facebook accounts.

Who else knows about this? Do I have that right so far? And then whoever it is, is sending out brand new friend requests to all of my old friends who are already friends with me on my regular Facebook page, so that they will be friends on this new doppelganger page, as if it was me making a new page, and just sending out new friend requests all over again to all of my already friends. Like... and I hate to say it... but, like a LIE, in essence!

Why the hell would anyone do that? More to the point, why would anyone believe that I would make a brand new Facebook page and send out all new Facebook friend requests, whenever I already have a perfectly functional Facebook page which has been going on for the past uh... since 2007 or something? Years! That's a long time! Why would I make a brand new Facebook page right now? That would be like suiciding nine years worth of purposefully recorded memories! If I ever decided to do that, you sure as hell wouldn't read about it on Facebook!

So, why would anyone believe that 'new Facebook page' line of bullcrap? That's stupid! That's the question that anyone with an IQ above 103 should ask first, if they actually did get some kind of doppelganger friend request from me. I hope that's the question they would ask first, anyway. Depends on their IQ, I guess, or on how stupid they are... wait. Doesn't that mean the same thing as it depends on their IQ?

I guess it depends on their IQ, or it depends on their IQ. Or on how smart I am or how stupid they are or how stupid I am, or vice versa . One of those. It depends on one or two of those.

Whatev. It doesn't really matter to me anyway. Who cares? I wish I could be the doppelganger of a doppelganger's doppelganger.

No I don't. That was a lie. I just lied a big fat lie on purpose! I don't normally lie so blatantly, but I guess I did just then, huh? Huh? What did I just type? Was that my doppelganger lying? Doppelgangers are supposed to be copies, so why would a doppelganger lie when the original wouldn't? Then it wouldn't be a copy. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of the definition of a copy? And wouldn't that give the copy away, anyway, if it was distinguishable from the original? Why am I the only one who thinks about this kind of obvious shit? Does the entire world have Down syndrome?

Yeah!

Now to the nitty-gritty Chuck Wagon chase. If somebody is actually doppelgangbanging my account, then this little tidbit of a communique is especially for you:

I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU to try to imitate me accurately and make my FB friends believe that you are me. If you are actually able to do that successfully, then congrats! You win my life. Have fun with it, you poor, poor naive foolish shitwhit.

Enjoy!

Love,
Ash.

Just kidding. I made all of that up. Every bit of it is a lovingly crafted, meticulous chunk of bullshit!

Sorry!

Or am I?

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