Monday, April 25, 2011

Fever dream

I saw boobs today. She was wearing a really loose shirt that was only buttoned halfway, and she put her two bottles of wine that she just bought on the floor and just fiddled with the bags for about a minute, with her boobs just hanging out right there in plain view. I think she wanted me to see them. It got ridiculous, how long she was leaning over, just fiddling with those plastic bags. At first I was shocked, and then I thought it was hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing after she left. Brittney asked me what was so funny, and I said, "I just saw that girls boobs plain as day."

I just laughed and laughed for about 10 minutes after that, and got all kinds of weird stares and nervous smiles from customers.

I'm sick. I started coughing halfway through the shift, and got chills, and I'm running a fever again. I felt kind of delirious all day after that. Maybe that's why I thought it was so funny, the blatant boobage that was bestowed upon me today.

"Here, cute mustachioed 7-Eleven guy, a magnificent display to brighten your day. I have intentionally worn a shirt 4 sizes too big with the top half unbuttoned. Gaze upon my splendiferous fleshy orbs as I fiddle inconsequentially for an entire minute with this wine that I deliberately put on the floor. It is a gift that I offer you, may you revel in the memory with hearty guffaws." Yes, that's exactly what she said, I'm pretty sure.


  1. "Yeah, but did you see nipple. It only counts if you saw nipple." Name that movie.

    Last week I had that same bug that you have. Try watching Inception with your raging fever. Scary.