Sunday, July 13, 2014

Trans-Dimensional Hilarity

Let's see if I can describe what it looks like, and how it feels. The moon is about 37 degrees above the southern horizon, and it's full. The rest of the sky is completely clear; there are no clouds at all. Oh, and its 2:50 in the morning. I'm on Bonnie Brae, walking south, and there is a heck of a lot of stupid traffic. Why? Why are all of these cars with people in them out and about this late? Don't they know that I hold the sole power of attorney and exclusive ownership rights regarding and pertaining to all nighttime extracurricular privileges, and that they are BREAKING THE LAW by violating my own personal zones of exclusion? How could anyone not be aware of this? I mean, I don't walk on their front lawns during the day, I don't stand in their bathrooms with them while they are taking a dump, and I don't forcibly insert myself into the passenger seats of their vehicles every single time they make a milk run - grocery run - cigarette run - beer run - drug run - automatic weapons run - or just an old fashioned hit and run. You will never see me interrupting anyone involved in any of those activities, so what makes it okay for anyone to pull those very same shenanigans on me, simply because I'm walking at 3 o'clock in the morning?

Oh, and by the way, I frikin' hate hate HATE loud motorcycles. And I know that there's such a thing as a motorcycle muffler, by the way. I can't think of a single, solitary reason why a motorcycle should be so purposefully and obnoxiously noisy, other than the extremely likely possibility that a certain prevalent breed of motorcycle pilot possesses a sadistic desire to inflict maximum annoyance to any person or thing which happens to exist outside and/or in the immediate vicinity of their own self established ego boundaries.

Okay, now that all the birching and whining is out of the way... what I originally wanted to say was, wouldn't it be weird if, while I was walking along and typing this in the dark, if all of the air just disappeared

Sorry, but there went another frikin' stupid ass loud noisy f'ing worthless piece of shit motorcycle, right then, just then. We hates them.

And then a bicycle just rode by, just a couple of feet away from me, and scared the shit out of me, just like that guy did an hour or two ago! WTF? Oh, but that was when I was walking and recording the talking thing with a kind of video thing. I guess you wouldn't know about it unless you saw it on my YouTube channel. I haven't uploaded it yet. Anywho.

Screw it, whatever it was I was going to say. I hope all of the air gets sucked up by interdimensional beings who are squashing our universe in between two other universes which are made entirely out of an infinite amount of naked singularity in order to generate a fourteen billion light years wide Casimir Effect to establish a vacuum vacuum which sucks up our vacuum into another bigger vacuum which will turn our entire cosmos into a single, vast region of negatively curved space-time, populated by an equally infinite amount of exotic, degenerate matter of negative mass, in effect repurposing all of existence into a thirteen dimensional FTL spambot with the intended side effect of first annoying and then enslaving entropy after a period of 999^999^99999 years and driving the 2nd, 3rd, and 7th dimensions insane, just for the fun of it, and ensuring the ensuance of trams-dimensional hilarity on an infinite scale.

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