Sunday, July 10, 2016

The Bionic Dork

Ash Davis. 45 year old Slurpee Slinger. A man barely alive (obviously).

Gentlemen, we can rebuild... oh never mind. We can't do higgledy piggledy jackity jack crappity crap squatalot on the pot for this moron. We can watch him vicariously, though.

We have the technology. I mean, he has the technology (seems like any dumbass can get hold of it nowadays) because he consistently posts the details of his pathetic existence on public forums, as if  he were trying to... Aw, shitznat. Hey man! That ain't the way you do confession, stupid!

Anyway. We have the capability to watch this idiot (you know, Ash) in his attempt to build some moronic... I mean, bionic boots and become the world's first Bionic Dork, because he's constantly yammering and bragging about it online.

Ash Davis will be that dork. Pretty much dorklier than he ever was before.

Stupider. Dumblier. Weaklier. Slowlier.

Gentleman. The 6 dollars man with a couple of pennies left over that he had to bum from somebody. The Bionic Dork.

Don't worry. Self deprecating humor just means that everything's still limping along just fine at the speed of lump.

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