Thursday, January 19, 2017

Planet Dirt

You know what? 'Planet Earth' - that most majesterial sounding title that we proudly give to and proclaim as to be our homeworld - to some alien would translate literally to 'Planet Dirt'.

'Where do you come from?' those aliens would ask.

'What do you call your homeworld?' they'd say.

'You call it Earth? What does it mean, this word, Earth? Please, enlighten us with your rich cultural history! We are extremely advanced aliens, and we respect all humble origins! What? Huh? Say again? No. Really? You're joking!

We, as advanced and enlightened aliens, of course, appreciate humor... huh? You're not joking? Wait, just hold on.

Earth means... that is, translated literally, it means... dirt? Like, the stuff that makes you dirty? The stuff that retarded kids eat, and that Enlightened Beings continually strive to remain cleansed of and from? That's the name of your world? Planet Dirt?'

Uncomfortable silence.

'Ta ta, dirtlings!'

Aaaaand... they've shunted into hyperspace.

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